This is a picture i took after a bunch of martini’s.
Not that they have any right to be mad. They’ll be all selfish kind of mad.
I just had the most explicit anal sex dream with a girl and a strap-on.
I woke up and realized we were out of half n’ half. My dad told me I couldn’t go to the store in my bath robe.
paraphrased heartache
- me: hey. happy thanksgiving. here's some thoughtful things I'm drunkenly texting you.
- cellphone//boy: yah, happy Thanksgiving. gerble gerble.
I tried to make ravioli tonight. I got so angry that I threw one at my dog and it hit her leg, but some of the filling got by her eye. She growled and showed her teeth at me as I tried to wipe it away. She does that a lot-growl I mean.
The ravioli ended up being really shitty and from what I can tell, my whole family hate the cats in the house.
Jared Leto still has a black berry.
(Source: terrysdiary)
(Source: bestprankever, via barverineceaser)
fuck winter
I just really want to comment nasty things on ex-lovers profile pictures. Mean things; thinking in the back of my head: how did I ever sleep with such faggots?
I’m up early to go to the gym though I still don’t really know how to work out.
And sometimes you just really like the smell of your own farts, ok?
umph
